Alone

Alone at the bus-stop. Alone in a double-bed. Alone on stage facing hundreds of people you can't see. Home alone. Alone at a concert. Alone on New Year’s Day. Alone in a car going 85 mph with not another soul in sight for as far as your eye can see or your mind can imagine. Alone in rush-hour traffic.
Alone in a foreign country where you don’t know anybody or any rules or the language or the currency. Alone at a funeral. Alone at a movie theater.
Alone in a park in the dark.
Alone in the worst thunderstorm you’ve been in, in a shady part of a dangerous city with no cab-money. Alone in church. Alone at a book store stealing glances at the intriguing brown-eyed stranger with the dazzling smile and your favorite book. Alone in a doctor’s waiting room, hearing her yell at the poor man who cannot afford the treatment and then turn on a silver smile for the rich widow. Alone in a corner of a house when you’re fifteen listening to angry music, thinking life is not worth living because your mother didn’t want you to go to a party. Dancing alone.
Alone in a room you can call your own for the first time in your life.
Alone in a packed air-plane with a heavy heart realizing why they call it that - it’s because your heart actually feels physically heavy and unbearable. Alone in a library carrel listening to French songs and talking to an old love online.
Alone in a hospital room with an unconscious and very sick friend. Alone with an obnoxious five-year old who has learned to cuss and throw tantrums and decides to practice on you.
Alone for your twenty-first birthday. Alone at your first job interview. Alone in a hotel room stashing away the free soap and shampoo before someone sees you.
Alone with a new-born baby.
Alone at an ice-cream store celebrating getting your driver’s license. Alone at the cards section of the store weeping over a lost love. Alone at a computer lab at three in the morning trying to finish up a report that’s due in five hours. Alone and one with nature at the top of a mountain. Drinking alone. Alone at a campfire because everyone else has gone to sleep and left you with your thoughts.
Alone. But not necessarily lonely.

Soft addictions

Hi, my name is Aarti, and I am *gasp* a movie-addict, actually, make that a novel-addict, or actually maybe it's actually internet addiction. Is there such a thing as sleep-addiction? Or perhaps thought-addict is good enough.
Well, the point is, I have noticed of late, that I will engage in several meaningless activities to get away from doing more worthwhile things. It's like that joke about the laws of grad student life - even though we know we are wasting time and could be involved in something that really makes use of our awesome potential (yeah, right! like what, work on our dissertation? haha!) it doesn't result in a real change.
Like this weekend for instance, I am supposed to have done something for the boss on Friday, and still haven't gotten around to it. I can think of several excuses why - it was too ambiguous a task, I had 2 birthdays to help plan and celebrate, the weather is too depressing, an old friend was in town so we had to go to dinner etc. All these reasons are completely true, but nothing will actually cut it! So, I have concluded that I have "soft addictions" - something I read about while engaging in one such soft addiction - reading stupid articles on the MSN page. (You know what I am talking about - Are you too quirky to date, or how to lose stubborn post-pregnancy fat, or what not to say in a job interview, all of which are completely irrelevant to my life!)
Oh well, I thought by putting it down in words in a semi-public forum I might make a conscious effort to cut back on these soft addictions. Let's see if that piece of psycho-babble advice works!
Alrighty folks, got to run..There's dosa in Abhi's house! What? Soft addictions you say? Naah..it's the stuff life is made of, at least now, as a lazy-ass grad student!

Et tu, Aarti?

Since I am soo gullible and am all consumed by the consumer propaganda that is Valentine's Day (hehehe..ok, maybe not so much!), I thought I'd think of a few 'love songs' that mean a lot to me for some reason or the other. The problem is, even though I totally don't buy into the b-s that's Valentine's Day, I am a closet romantic sometimes..especially when it comes to songs and movies and books. To steal a line from my love Dave Mathews, "I love them oh, so well, like a kid loves candy and fresh snow"! Unabashedly, trustingly,with awe and delight..I love romances in everything but myself :) When it comes to me, I have no idea how to be romantic or bashful or remember birthdays or waste money on flowers or anything. Maybe that's why I am still single :)
Here's my list and links to lyrics (but not the reasons! Most of them have stories behind them, most of them not even romantic!!)
1. Kayleigh, by Marillion
2. So far away, by Dire Straits
3. Romeo and Juliet, also by Dire Straits
4. Yeh kahaan aa gaye hum, from the movie Silsila
5. Oh, by Dave Mathews
6. Pehla Nasha, from the movie Jo jeeta wohi sikandar
7. Tum gaye, from the movie Maachis
8. Say a little prayer, by Dionne Warwick (and Aretha Franklin and Diana King and...)
9. Days go by, by Dirty Vegas
10. Get lost, by Eric Clapton
11. What a diff'rence a day made, by Jamie Cullum
12. As I lay me down, by Sophie B. Hawkins
13. California Dreamin', by The Mamas and the Papas

Ash Wednesday

Here's a (potentially blasphemous!) one..
Q. What's the difference between the Pope and me?
A. He missed Ash Wednesday, but I didn't!!
"WTF?" I hear u go...let me explain. The Pope missed Ash Wednesday services at the Vatican due to illness. I caught Aishwarya Rai on the Late Show with David Letterman in the wee hours of Wednesday morning.
Sooo..with that really bad joke (contrived sure, but cute, u must admit!) let me get to the point. I thought Aishwarya was cheeky, irritatingly giggly and a wee bit too conceited for late night television, where even really awesome people let down their guard and laugh at themselves. She looked ravishing, she always does. But her attitude really was shocking...when Letterman (predictably) asked her if she lived at home with her parents, and if that's a tradition in India, she was caustic. She said something like, at least it wasn't customary in India to call for an appointment if you wanted to meet your parents. She tried to come off coy, but to me she seemed cocky!
So that made me wonder, is this the best we can do? Is she the representation of the New India? Coz like it or not, u must admit, more people around the world know who she is than who Manmohan Singh is. And maybe I am just overly judgmental. After all, she did okay in the 60 Minutes interview (thanks for the link, Parth), so maybe she is a good face (literally and otherwise!) for India..I don't know, what say you?