Sunday, November 02, 2008

Of time, changes, and time changes

Those who know me (or my blog!) well will attest to the fact that I'm so intrigued by this mischief-maker we call Time. One of my constant refrains has been my wish to manipulate time - 'oh, if only I could time-travel and see what the future holds', or 'oh, was the past really as awesome as I now remember it to be?', or 'man, I wonder what my life would have been if I were born in the 50s and was a hippy in the 60s and 70s'...
It came to me today, that I have actually had at least twenty times in my life where time has been manipulated. Every fall, when I set my clock back an hour to accommodate daylight savings time, and every spring when I lose an hour...every time I travel to India and return to the US and thereby gain about a's as if I have been given a day to relive.
The first time this occurred I remember having a profound epiphany - it was August 3, 2001 when I left India for the first time, and I arrived in the US for the first time - on August 3, 2001. I recall thinking "Wow...this really is my second chance at living this day...and by extension, my second chance at life...I can be whoever I want to be in this new place and in my new role here".
Seven-odd years later, I can attest to the fact that Time indeed, has had his fancy with me, and I can feel the changes in me that have crept up to me over the years.
Maybe it's the seven-year itch and it's time for another profound epiphany. I am at the stage now where I am less inclined to let Time manipulate me, and want to take charge and have my fancy with Time. Not in some vain or unfortunate attempt at control over the uncontrollable or anything of the sort. But rather, a realization that every moment and every heartbeat is here but once...and deserves my respect and my best attempt to live it completely. I'm not sure exactly what that means but know it includes this...a respect for and awareness of the certainty of change. Some of that change comes from outside but mostly it is from within me, by me and for me.
And that, Time cannot change.


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