Early morning reflections...
It is 4:30 a.m. I'm sitting here with three tabs open in my IE7 (thanks to Parth, I caved in and downloaded it!).
One has the website to book visa appointments in Canada open, and I sit groggily refreshing the page, hoping that magically the stars will align and the correct number of appointments appear in the correct place on the correct dates. "Correct" of course, defined as "fits into the plans I had made for the Universe without consulting Reality".
The second has my inbox open, with a message from one of my best friends, who writes to tell me that her stars have magically aligned and she is going to be able to make a quick trip home to see another of our best friends get married. I see it now. R is at the reception dias, looking lovely and charming and skinny as ever, and M and A sit down at a table after 2 hours of dancing, A pretending to be drunk on half a glass of wine, M pretending to be sober after 4 glasses of rum-and-coke. They both wish I was there, and start talking about 'old times' and as if they had a voodoo doll of me there to transmit those vibes, I can feel everything. The smell of a cool polluted Bandra night, the too-bright dresses of some of the ladies, the sound of teenagers flirting as they only allow themselves to at weddings when they are allowed to be good-looking and to dance with each other.
Well, I'll drink to that, then. My memories of looking good and dancing at A's wedding, my memories of seemingly endless arguments that somehow ended up with us laughing hysterically about something inconsequential, my memories of helping M make coffee-walnut-rum-icecream that was more rum than icecream, my memories of planning a treasure hunt for A's first anniversary, the 'spinster party', the inexhaustable energy we had for planning creative gifts for each other, the creativity born equally out of necessity (we were poor students) and time (we were poor students) and some kind of wonderful bond we had that I haven't been able to find since then.
I'll drink to that then, and hope that one day, maybe when the stars are aligned, we will replicate that magic - giggles and all.
One has the website to book visa appointments in Canada open, and I sit groggily refreshing the page, hoping that magically the stars will align and the correct number of appointments appear in the correct place on the correct dates. "Correct" of course, defined as "fits into the plans I had made for the Universe without consulting Reality".
The second has my inbox open, with a message from one of my best friends, who writes to tell me that her stars have magically aligned and she is going to be able to make a quick trip home to see another of our best friends get married. I see it now. R is at the reception dias, looking lovely and charming and skinny as ever, and M and A sit down at a table after 2 hours of dancing, A pretending to be drunk on half a glass of wine, M pretending to be sober after 4 glasses of rum-and-coke. They both wish I was there, and start talking about 'old times' and as if they had a voodoo doll of me there to transmit those vibes, I can feel everything. The smell of a cool polluted Bandra night, the too-bright dresses of some of the ladies, the sound of teenagers flirting as they only allow themselves to at weddings when they are allowed to be good-looking and to dance with each other.
Well, I'll drink to that, then. My memories of looking good and dancing at A's wedding, my memories of seemingly endless arguments that somehow ended up with us laughing hysterically about something inconsequential, my memories of helping M make coffee-walnut-rum-icecream that was more rum than icecream, my memories of planning a treasure hunt for A's first anniversary, the 'spinster party', the inexhaustable energy we had for planning creative gifts for each other, the creativity born equally out of necessity (we were poor students) and time (we were poor students) and some kind of wonderful bond we had that I haven't been able to find since then.
I'll drink to that then, and hope that one day, maybe when the stars are aligned, we will replicate that magic - giggles and all.
posted by RTD2 at 4:34 AM
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