Thursday, October 28, 2004

ordinary average everyday sane psycho super-goddess!

I was listening to this song the other day, by Liz Phair, called "Extraordinary". The title of today's blog is from it. I thought "Wow! that's me exactly!!" But then, other songs and other writers have echoed my unexpressed (even to myself) feelings before. Why can't I be one of those song-writers/authors/film-makers/poets/artists? I want to do something that's immensely appealing to a lot of people, but in a very special very personal way. I want to give people the feeling that I get when I read something or listen to a song and believe, for that one moment, that it was created just for me. I haven't "discovered my talent" or "found my calling" and frankly, don't know if I ever will. I mean, I feel like I am at the point of no return..all that I could have learned and done and created I should have by now. I actually believe I am regressing to an unintelligent, uncreative, decadent, wasted life..no, not regressing, because that implies I was there once. Anyway, you get the picture...I don't feel as 'extraordinary' as I used to once..I feel less super-goddess, and more average everyday. Arrgggh! Mediocrity!!

3 Comments:

Blogger Parth said...

You echoed my exact sentiments (of course, you have heard a less eloquent lament from me on this topic before). Mediocrity is dangerous. It creeps in stealthily and is tough to shake off. I sincerely hope that you find your calling and answer it, for all those like us who are struggling in that attempt. Till then, rust in peace

12:12 PM  
Blogger RTD2 said...

What we need is a healthy dose of Ayn Rand. Have u ever read her stuff? It makes u feel so depressed and guilty for even existing! Everything and everyone must have such integrity, such perfection, it makes your skin crawl to think of what a sinfully average life we lead, with all that we can, nay, MUST accomplish!

3:24 PM  
Blogger Parth said...

Ya, I was inspired and depressed by her work at the same time. Have read both Fountainhead and Atlas Shrugged. However much I would want to be a Howard Roark, one needs belief backed with ability or ability backed with belief. I feel that I am missing one or the other time and again

3:48 PM  

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